Baker Street: The Angel, the Warlock, and the TARDIS
by pickledoatmeals
Summary: SuperWhoMerLock characters are discussing what should they do in the imminent zombie apocalypse. Or Croataon virus outbreak. Or alien invasion. Or bioterrorist attacks. Or the army of the dead.


**Warnings:** Not beta'd, poorly written, OOCness, dialogue-heavy, failed attempts to reconcile the logics of four different telly programmes, shameless abuse of four equally good shows, don't apply logic to this, Arthur knows that Merlin is a warlock and is not disturbed by it

**Spoilers:** Merlin S2/S3 onwards

**Disclaimer:** No copyright infringement intended.

**A/N:** Just wrote this to get it out of my mind. This isn't a serious fic, but I badly wanted to see these characters interact with one another in a zombie apocalypse (or sort of), and this is the atrocity that came out. Not my usual writing style, but then again, I just made it for the heck of it. Nothing serious. In short, just your regular badly-written SuperWhoMerLock fics.

* * *

"Dean, calm down!"

"No Sammy! There's a fucking zombie apocalypse, we're in fucking London, and Cas is fucking missing. Now you're telling me to calm down?!"

"Dean, please—"

A loud, sonic noise pierced the air, causing the individuals inside the room to wince.

"If everyone would just calm down."

"Give me a reason to fucking calm down, Bowtie."

"Dean, I presume? Number one, bowties are cool. Number two, please just calm down, and we'll sort things out."

"And why should I listen to you?"

"Because I'm the Doctor," the Doctor said with a smug smile.

"Doctor… Doctor what?" Dean asked.

"It would be lovely if you had just said 'Doctor Who' instead of 'Doctor What', but that's impertinent to the matters right now. We need for everyone to calm down and discuss how this all started."

"For starters, we were fighting our way through a Croatoan outbreak zone in Minnesota when you showed up with your… blue box. Then—"

"Dean, let me do this," interrupted Sam.

"I can perfectly explain what happened _minutes_ ago in _Minnesot_a, not freaking _London_," Dean countered.

"Yes, but you aren't exactly on your best behaviour. Please just calm down. Let the Doctor lead things."

Someone cleared their throat. "If anyone's interested, there's chamomile tea. Helps to soothe nerves. I'm John Watson by the way."

"Tea?" Dean said, "Freaking London."

"I'd appreciate it if you stop insulting London," John warned.

The sonic noise startled everyone again. The Doctor paced around while trying to pacify things. "Please calm down. Before we tell everyone what happened, I believe that introductions are in order. Now, please state your name, and what you do. I'll start. I'm the Doctor, and I'm a Time Lord from Gallifrey. This pretty blue box here is my TARDIS, which stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space. It's a space and time machine. We travel in different planets and timelines."

"Time and space machine? You mean, there are creatures other than angels which can time travel?" Sam said.

"Angels can time travel?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, yes…"

"Interesting… Now, we shall discuss that later. This snivelling lady beside me is Amy Pond, a nurse." he said, helping Amy stand up from her seat.

Amy composed herself and began her introduction. "I'm Amy Pond. Williams, actually, Amy Williams. I'm Rory William's wife, and Rory… Rory's… Rory's been…" She began crying again, and buried her face in the Doctor's chest.

The Doctor kissed her forehead affectionately and returned to the people around them. "We'll deal with Rory's disappearance later. Now, who's next?"

"I'm Sam Winchester. And this is my brother Dean. We're from Lawrence, Kansas, and we're hunters. We hunt things like ghosts, shapeshifters, werewolves, vampires, demons, and other supernatural or paranormal creatures."

"Supernatural creatures?" said the Doctor.

"Yeah… I actually find it hard to believe that you're an extraterrestrial being, but I've seen a lot of strange creatures in my lifetime to doubt you."

"Very well… Mr Dean Winchester? If you'd like to introduce yourself."

"We've already told you what we do."

"Dean," Sam muttered, "Cooperation."

Dean sighed. "My name is Dean Winchester. I'm an Aquarius, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women."

Everyone in the room stared at Dean.

John cleared his throat. "I'm John Watson, an army doctor. Everyone's actually inside our flat right now."

"Oh," the Doctor muttered, "I'm sorry; we didn't mean to impose. The TARDIS does crash on things sometimes."

"It's okay, no offence taken," John said, "And this man here is—"

"Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Pleased to meet you," Sherlock said with a forced smile.

"I believe that we're done… So we have a Time Lord, a nurse, two hunters, an army doctor, and a detective. Now let's talk about how the paths of six different people crossed in an unfortunate time like this," the Doctor said, "Amy, Rory, and I were intending to go to the day Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, but it seems that we have arrived in the wrong place at the wrong time. We went outside the TARDIS, and there we saw aliens that I do not know of."

"They're zombies, Doctor," Amy said, "Not everything has to be aliens, don't they?"

"Maybe you're right… Anyway, we stepped out, and we came face-to-face with the Winchesters. And weren't you with another guy?"

"That's Cas," Dean said, "He's an angel of the Lord."

Everyone was silent.

"Aliens exist, so angels shouldn't be surprising. Like what I've said earlier, we're fighting with Croatoans, then we got surrounded, and out of thin air, this blue box just appeared, and out came three Englishmen wondering if there were zombies in Lincoln's assassination."

Sam, noticing that Dean is bound to be sarcastic any moment now, took control of the situation. "The Croatoans were closing in on us, so all six of us—I remember that there were six of us— we stepped inside this blue box. I thought that we weren't going to fit, but it's surprisingly bigger on the inside."

"Time Lord technology," the Doctor said proudly.

"You keep saying 'Croatoans'. People would just say 'zombies'," Sherlock said calmly.

"Because in our universe, they're Croatoans. If their blood enters you're bloodstream, then you're converted," Dean answered.

"So these Croatoans are different from your brain-eating zombies?"

"A bit. It's a blood-borne virus that originated from demons."

"Fascinating…"

"Fascinating? What kind of guy would find this situation fascinating? Croatoans are running amok not only in Minnesota, but also here, Cheekbones!"

"_Dean_," Sam warned, "Please calm down like the rest of us. As I was saying, six of us went inside the blue box—("The TARDIS.")—the TARDIS, then it began moving, and after a few seconds, I felt us being hurtled, we crashed against something, we all stepped out, and we saw Dr Watson—("John, please.")—John, sipping tea with his roommate Mr Holmes."

"Husband," Sherlock corrected, "I'm John's husband."

Another awkward silence.

"Right… So we stepped out of the… Of the TARDIS, all six of us, then—"

"Suddenly, Rory was gone," Amy continued, "He was just right there beside me when I heard something like wings, and then, he was gone."

"Wings?" Dean asked, "That must be Cas."

"Cas is the angel, right?" Amy said, "What does he have to do with Rory's disappearance?"

"Angels can zap anywhere in a millisecond," Dean explained, "And Rory—Rory, right?—must have accidentally touched Cas when the goddamned angel flew to god knows where."

"Have you tried praying to him?" Sam said.

"If my prayers worked, then he should have been here minutes ago."

"Wait, where's Mycroft?" John asked.

Sherlock didn't seem fazed. "Must have went off."

"Mycroft? Who's Mycroft?" the Doctor asked.

"Sherlock's brother," John replied, "He was just here minutes ago, right there at the couch."

"Right there?" Amy asked, pointing towards the direction of the couch, "That's where Rory was minutes ago."

"Great, now Mycroft's also missing," John said, "We're missing three people."

"He can handle himself," Sherlock said.

"Why aren't you worried that your brother's missing?" Dean asked, "He's your _brother_. He's _blood_. He's _family_."

"He _is_ the British Government," Sherlock said, "I'm sure that he has an army at his disposal should the need to arise."

"He's not exactly on the best terms with his brother," John told Dean.

"He's still _family_. What kind of cold-hearted psychopath are you?" Dean said.

"I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research," Sherlock shot back, "Besides, shouldn't you be more worried about your… boyfriend?"

Dean glared at him, swallowing the lump on his throat. "H-how could you possibly know?"

"Your irrational worry and rather affectionate tone when saying his name are telltale signs of your relationship with this angel," Sherlock explained, "Or do I need to show more proof?"

"My worry is not irrational," Dean said, anger flaring back, "It's you that I'd consider irrational since you're not worried for your brother and all."

Sam restrained Dean. "I'm sorry for my brother's attitude."

"I apologise for Sherlock's tongue," John said.

Minutes passed, and everyone seemed to have calmed down. There are still no signs of Mycroft, Cas, and Rory.

The Doctor broke the silence. "Is that everything? Is that all we need to know?"

He was met with silence, which he took as an affirmation.

"Now, we need to know what these creatures really are, whether they're aliens, Croatoans, or zombies."

"We believe we have the answer," a new voice said.

Everyone craned their head towards the new addition to their group. He appeared out of thin air behind the Doctor.

"…Cas," Dean said, "Cas!"

He ran towards the angel and locked him in a fierce embrace. He pulled him tighter against his body until he's sure that he's not zapping anywhere. He gave Cas a gentle kiss, restrained, relieved, and thankful all at once. He pressed their foreheads together and said in a calm and gentle tone, "Where have you been?"

Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder. "The moment we landed here, I was summoned elsewhere."

Dean kissed Cas's forehead. "And where might that be?"

"EHEM," Sam cleared his throat, "I'm glad that the two of you are together again, but we'd really appreciate it if you share the information with us."

Dean reluctantly released Cas from his embrace, but held the angel's hands just in case.

Cas stared at the people looking at him. "I am Castiel. I'm an angel of the Lord. A few minutes ago, Dean, Sam, and I were fighting Croatoans, when a blue box appeared—"

"We've already went through that," Dean whispered in his ear, "Jump straight to when we arrived here."

He gripped Dean's hand tighter. "We stepped out of the blue box—which is bigger on the inside—when I bumped against two men, and before I knew it, we were in Camelot."

"Camelot? Isn't that the place where King Arthur lived?" Sam said.

"The men with you," Amy said, "Where are they? Where's Rory?"

"I was with them a few seconds. I flew to where Dean was, but we landed inside of what looked like a spaceship—"

"Amy!" another new voice said.

"—so I flew again, but they weren't latching on me anymore."

"Rory!"

Amy and Rory ran towards each other, kissing and hugging all at once.

"I was so worried," Amy said, crying.

"I know," Rory said, placing a kiss on Amy's forehead, "I'm sorry."

"Rory, you're back!" the Doctor happily said.

Rory gave the Doctor a 'manly' hug.

"Well, where's Mycroft?" John asked, "Cas and Rory are here, so, where is he?"

"No need to fret, Dr Watson," Mycroft said as he stepped out of the TARDIS, "I'm right here."

People were expecting for someone to run to Mycroft and hug him, but no one did, so Mycroft spoke.

"I initially believed that this was the act of bioterrorists, but I was proved wrong."

"Now, you three, kindly tell us what happened," the Doctor said.

"Like what I've said earlier, we were summoned in Camelot," Castiel said, "Merlin, the young warlock who summoned me, was surprised when I brought two humans along. He said that he was just intending to summon a 'great being as powerful as creatures of magic, but weren't their kin', because only that being could help stop the army of the dead summoned by a witch named Morgana. I told him that Mycroft and Rory accidentally came into contact with me when we invoked me.

"Merlin told us that Morgana is plotting to kill Camelot's king, Uther—"

"Isn't Arthur the king of Camelot?" Sam asked.

"Arthur is, in the future," Castiel continued, "And a dragon gave him a spell which will help him fight Morgana and her army. However, Morgana's spell to summon the dead backfired, and the result was this. Merlin was told that Morgana escaped to another time and place using a very powerful spell which will cause serious backlashes."

"So you're saying that this Morgana is the cause of it all," the Doctor said.

"It would seem so, yes," Castiel agreed.

"Evil sorceress wants to take over the world for her greedy intentions, spell backfired, the dead are scattered across different universes and time planes, and wreaks havoc. Next case," Sherlock said nonchalantly.

"Sherlock, there isn't a case to be solved," John said, "What we're trying to do is to stop these creatures from ruining anyone's universe."

"So what did you do to Morgana?" the Doctor asked.

"We haven't done anything yet, so we brought Merlin here, and Prince Arthur," Castiel answered in a matter-of-fact of tone.

"You brought _what_?" Dean asked.

"Merlin and Prince Arthur."

And as if on cue, two men stepped out of the TARDIS.

"Is this really what the future looks like?"

"Yes, if we manage to find Morgana and undo her curse."

The two men stopped on their tracks and stared at the people staring back at them.

"Merlin, Prince Arthur," Castiel greeted, "Try not be overwhelmed by the humans and their trinkets."

"Hello Castiel," Merlin said, "And to everyone here. Come on Arthur, where are your manners?"

Arthur had one Merlin's hand in a vice grip (which served as a 'warning'). "I am Prince Arthur Pendragon of Camelot. This is my servant boy Merlin, a warlock."

"So we have a time-and-space-travelling alien, an angel, a warlock and a prince from the medieval era, two hunters who eradicate supernatural and paranormal creatures, _the_ British Government, an army doctor, yours truly, and an insufferable consulting detective. Great. Just great. Just your usual activity for a peaceful Thursday afternoon," John said.

"We need to find and stop Morgana. If we don't then this future would never come to be," Arthur said.

"Actually, Time is not a linear structure. It's wibbly-wobbly," the Doctor said, "There are billions of parallel dimensions and timelines scattered around, and this is just one of the universes created by an action. There is another universe for when Morgana failed to summon the army of the dead."

"So you're saying that there's another world, another us, in another situation?" Arthur asked, "Then, why don't we just go there?"

"And leave this fabric of reality in chaos? That wouldn't do," the Doctor said, "We need to fix this timeline before we can return you to your original time."

"How hard would that be?" Merlin asked.

"It wouldn't be hard if we know what kind of monsters are we dealing with," Dean said, "Whether they are zombies, Croatoans, aliens, the army of the dead, or the product of bioterrorists, so the first step would be determining what are we facing."

"You're calm now," Sam commented.

"Well, Cas is here," Dean said, giving Cas a quick kiss on the cheek.

"How about we discern what these creatures are, and try to find Morgana at the same time?" John said.

"That will save time," Amy said, "So let's now divide ourselves into groups. Rory, Doctor, you'll be with me."

"Sammy," Dean said, motioning him toward them.

"Sherlock, Mycroft," John said.

"…So that leaves the two of us," Merlin said, "Just the two of us? Wouldn't that be hard?"

"Relax Merlin, I can do the job of three knights. Or more, actually," Arthur said.

"We should have brought Gwaine and Lancelot," said Merlin.

"They're better off defending Camelot," Arthur said, "So just accept that you're stuck with me."

Merlin sighed. "I've had enough of being stuck with a dollop-head."

"Are the teams ready?" the Doctor inquired.

"Yes!"

"Then, let's plan!"

_**fin**_

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**A/N:** This didn't turn out to be what I planned, but hey, I just wrote this to get it out of my head. Nothing serious XDXD (And it's as poorly written as I thought it would be, but then again, I intend to not make anything serious out of this.)

Will change the categories for this fic weekly.


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